“Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local revision).”
I think my third essay shows my editing process the best out of the three of them. I made a lot of larger changes to this essay than I had to the previous ones, and there were also a lot of sentence-level changes. One of the biggest changes I made in this essay was rearranging whole parts of the essay. It started off really long and I didn’t have a conclusion yet, so I just took parts of the body paragraphs that seemed like they could create a conclusion and made one out of that. Specifically, I took the last few sentences of the second and third paragraphs and morphed them into a conclusion paragraph. In the second paragraph, I take this part and move into the conclusion. This is what it looked like before:
I make this the second half of the conclusion paragraph. Then, I did the same thing with the third paragraph-I took the last few sentences and put them into the first part of the conclusion paragraph. This is what it looked like before:
This is what the two parts of the paragraphs looked like in the final product, after I worked them together:
Not only did I rearrange these two paragraphs, but I also created a new paragraph from content I had already written. In all three of these paragraphs, I edited them to make sure that everything fit together and didn’t seem like it was missing a part/came from a different paragraph. Other than this, I made a lot of sentence-level changes that by themselves weren’t a lot, but all together changed a lot about my writing. The same message was there, I just found words that fit together better. For example, in the second paragraph, I changed a lot of words in the first few sentences. This is what it looked like before:
And this is what it looked like after:
My edits to this part of the essay made what I was trying to say more succinct and gave my words more flow. Before, my writing seemed a little blocky and unsophisticated. After, I feel like simplifying my words made it more understandable and mature. This is what I tried to do with the rest of the essay as well.
